It is instructive to read an interview about Jani Lane from Bobbi Brown, who was his ex-wife. Jani Lane fronted the rock band Warrant during their most successful period in the late 1980s. In short, two men raped Jani Lane before he became famous. Here is a quote from the interview (language warning).:
“At the moment that he admitted [that he was drugged and raped by a member of a famous heavy metal band and their manager], it was devastating to hear. He admitted this to me before his death. It was traumatizing to watch him reveal those things and how much it had affected his life up to that point. When we were married I had no clue. This occurred when he was just starting out on the Strip. So when I’m hearing all of this with him, I’m crying with him. I was going, “We have to do something, we have to say something.” He was like, “No! No!” It was a humiliation for a man to be in that position.
It’s so emasculating and humiliating. It would have been humiliating for him. So we couldn’t say anything. Instead he lived with this anger inside. He felt like he couldn’t say anything because he was a man. He was raised to be a man, not to cry. It was all mind-fucking. I could see how it would have been devastating and humiliating for him to speak up. I got his perspective from it, but at the same time, I felt so hopeless for him, knowing that he felt he couldn’t say anything. And wouldn’t. That affected him greatly his whole life. It was part of the reason he drank. It’s sad really.”
This story highlights things to always keep in mind, regardless of the sex of the victim:
- Rape is traumatizing for the victim.
- Rape is significantly underreported.
- The rape victim typically knows the offender(s).
- Rape drugs can be used, which impacts your self-defense strategy against it. For example, the typical “carry a gun” strategy may not be effective against a drug-induced rape. I cover other self-defense methods in my book.
My highlighting of Jani Lane’s story is directed at men. I hope that men try to internalize Jani Lane’s plight and the impact it had on his life. Then, men may be in a better position to understand the trauma of raped women. Importantly, men may be better positioned to understand why rape is so underreported to law enforcement.